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drishti's story

Updated: Feb 26, 2023

i remember telling my parents that i am depressed and i need help… but they thought i was over-exaggerating and had no reason to be so upset. i have a great life with plenty of friends, amazing and supportive parents; i play 2 sports and have straight A’s. how could i be depressed? but the truth is, i am. i attempted suicide twice and failed. now, i realize how lucky i am to still be here, but at the moment i had no wish to continue life. i felt so alone and hopeless, like i could never get better. it took more than a year of feeling like this for me to finally really explain the extent of my struggles to my parents. once they heard of what my depression made me do, they took me seriously, and luckily i am currently on medication and seeing multiple therapists.

my first attempt involved overdosing, which i thought would be the easiest and quickest way to do it. i took much more than the recommended amount of medication on an empty stomach, as i was also suffering from an eating disorder. i remember just wanting the pain to end or go away forever. i thought this was the only solution to my suffering. i took the pills, went to bed and cried until my eyes finally shut. i had my letter ready for those closest to me. i remember thinking, “am i really doing this?” as i fell asleep. but deep down, i wasn’t. i woke up the next day and went to school as if nothing happened. maybe if i had reached out for help that time, the pain i went through after could have been avoided. but on my birthday that year, i tried to overdose for the second time.

now i look back and thank whoever helped me live through that night and the ones that followed. i am still here and I am getting better. i am and I will survive my depression. i still have the thoughts and i am not fully recovered, but i look back and see that surviving that night was meant to be. none of us should take our own lives. if you are thinking about it, reach out right away. you are valid and can get help. you are never ever alone.


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