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carolyn's story

before i started self harming, i developed an eating disorder — anorexia with cycles of bulimia. it wasn't because i want to get skinnier because i was already skinny to begin with. it's because i had so much anxiety and i didn't know how to cope. i also have Tourette's so i got bullied a lot for that and really bad depression my mother, she is something. she doesn't believe in mental health so when i got diagnosed with depression, anxiety she did not believe in me. so i started self harming, and after i cut, it was a sense of relief. i was just so done with the world and everybody thinking that i'm not enough by bullying me, so i tried to take my own life by overdosing. i had to go in the hospital a lot for self harm, and my mother would just make an excuse that i got it playing outside or something. i never went to a psychiatric unit. i still occasionally self harm, but i'm almost fully recovered. it's a long process, but i had to do it all on my own. i'd like to think if i had support i wouldn't have started but i don't think that's true. i'm meant to do things on my own. if anybody is struggling with self harm and suicide that they should know how much people care for you and i know that's hard to listen to because it feels like they don't but they do anything. i still get suicidal thoughts, but you have to find healthy ways to cope.


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