i first started self harming in the beginning of year 9, i had to tell my mum as i was being pressured by people saying that they were going to tell teachers. i wasn't ready to tell my mum but i was forced into it, she reacted well though and was supportive. since i've been self harming. i've also been having suicidal thoughts and ideation. i had multiple overdoses during lockdown that no one knew about. in october 2021 i finally decided that this was it, i was about to attempt but i reached out and had the emergency services called because of my safety. this is how my mum found out how much i was struggling. after that i got referred to camhs and they said to go somewhere else because you're turning 18 next year. things got much worse and in april 2022 i attempted and nearly caused long lasting issues, people finally understood how much i was struggling and i started to get some support from services. since then i have started antidepressants and crisis work, but i also have had more attempts. i was at breaking point with my last one and nearly refused treatment. that was back in september and i have been attempt free since, but i still had strong thoughts and urges but i've learnt to reach out when things get to breaking point. i am also now self harming less and the second lot of antidepressants i've been on seem to be helping. no one knows about my issues with eating that stem from bullying but i'm beginning to open up more. i'm now moving onto adult services and i'm terrified but i know that i don't want to go back to the place i was in during the summer. things get better and there is always support out there if you need it.
