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sagar’s story

my mental health story is a little complicated. the situation changed me a lot and filled me with anxiety and stage 1 bipolar disorder. the trauma left me with so many mood swings. sometimes i feel like ending my life. sometimes like running away. nobody knows what it is cause they never try to understand what's in my mind. i truly loved and cared for someone. loved them even when they left me. i have panic attacks in the room and crying alone for so long, praying to god just to get that person to know how i truly loved and cared for them. everything was so irritating to me that I tried to harm myself. my mind was filled with random thoughts and memories i shared with them. all i still wanted was to be with that person. the only person whom i believe understands me. i isolated myself from everyone. done things which are bad for my health to relieve this pain but the only one who truly helps me is the person who left me. i have done so many things to forget but it keeps coming back to me.

i feel like an empty person. maybe one day they return to me and accept me. i don't know if it happens or not but my life left me with the pain i can't survive anymore. i truly understand through the past that I am not a crazy person. all i needed was some understanding and love.

i think everyone needs to be understood and heard, cause people like me with fragile minds are so vulnerable to sadness and depression. but, life is all about good and bad things. ranting and sharing my story made me feel more heard… to everyone who is heartbroken, we are all in it together. never give up on anything.


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