in our neurotypical dominant world, where our society, lives, and relationships and expectations are shaped and structured to suit the neurotypical mind, it seems very difficult to manage our relationships when we are also dealing with BPD, ADHD, Autism, PTSD, OCD or any other mental neurodivergence. so, here are some tips to manage your relationships along with your neurodiversity without hurting yourself or your partner :)
identifying your own and your partner’s triggers: the first thing to do to pin down your own & your partner’s sensory triggers to understand them better. these can be physical triggers, like sensitivities to light, sound, touch, smell, taste, texture, etc. or, these can be mental; for example a person with ADHD might feel rejected, misunderstood or hurt when their partner dismisses their feelings or condition, or gets upset at them for things they can’t help, like forgetting things or being unable to pay attention.
communicating our needs and triggers: it is important to understand that both parties in a relationship are human, and have different mindsets and way of thinking. it is impossible for any party to immediately find out what is upsetting each other by themselves. so, an open, honest, non-defensive communication without any judgment of each other is incredibly essential for an ND relationship. it may seem hard at first, but it’s the best way to not hurt your partner and work your relationship out in the long run.
being patient with each other and understanding that each of our brain are different: at the end, rather than dismissing differences, it is integral to accepting each other’s cores, traits, values. we are all different people, and there is nothing wrong with it. being ashamed for not being “enough” for your partner or feeling that your relationship isn’t the “right” way is normal, but it is not right.
what we expect out of romance is what we see on screen, in books, or in our friends’ relationships – what we don’t notice is these are all made by, for, and to a neurotypical mindset and thought process. so, if our relationships look different than those that seem “normal,” that is absolutely nothing to be ashamed about. <3
nothing in our articles are medical or professional advice. the writers at NTC are not professionals and should not be treated as ones. our blog was created only for educational purposes and raising awareness.